Big Bad “No, no, fuck no”

Big Bad Bite (Big Bad Bite #1) by Jessie Lane

It’s been almost a week since I read this book and I still have this gnawing feeling inside of me, compelling me to write a review (and if you’ve read some of my previous reviews you’d know that is not a good thing). Every now and again something would remind me of this book and I’d want to turn into an angry blabbering lunatic. So I am now giving up, I have to get his off my chest.

                                                                      Beware!! Long rage rant to follow!

Let’s start from the beginning – I was looking for a nice PNR book with a kickass heroine and, in my humble opinion, you can’t get more kickass than a mysterious half shifter/half-something-else SWAT member, which according to the summary is our Jenna. I got my hopes up – such a big mistake on my part.

The book starts with Jenna having finally landed her dream job and moving away from her suffocating family. Naturally my expectations were that some of the story would revolve around her hard-won independence and enjoying it or around finding her place in the squad and proving herself, or forming relationships. However, those aspects were very underdeveloped. Jenna should have been this tough cookie but at the first sign of trouble she heads home to her Momma like a scared little puppy, which absolutely undermines her image. From this point on my problems with the book really kicked off. For someone who has spent their whole life hiding I saw the heroine as too trusting, too easily accepting the possessive gestures, all the protectiveness and sometimes even the orders from all the alpha males around her. All the issues that should have come with her past – the fact that her father never bothered to come and meet his child, the suffocating environment in which she has grown (home schooled and living with her family up until that point), the loneliness from never having friends – are hardly mentioned/considered. The book should have stressed upon these problems instead of the mushy feelings caused by her teenage crush on Adam. Yes, I did use the word “crush” for their supposed “mate-relationship” because, in my eyes, their love was not believable, I just didn’t feel it. It was like they met twice and BOOOOM she was his and it was all settled. Her fur should have been rubbed the wrong way from all of his domineering gestures but noooo they just stirred some confusing emotions in our supposedly independent full-of-attitude tough girl.

While I am on the subject of this very implausible instalove, I should mention that there was a moment when I really hoped that the author would redeem herself. However, that hope died a slow and painful death. This moment of fragile optimism, when Adam should have had some hard time winning our heroine’s affections, was when Amy told Jenna that our alpha must mate her because if he doesn’t, he will go mad. Every other girl would have started seriously doubting Adam’s show of affections and his motives but not Jenna, she is understanding and those doubts are only expressed by a few fleeting thoughts.

Actually, Jenna’s understanding knows no limits; she isn’t even remotely disturbed by the fact that she has a long lost brother. She is just like “oh ok, no biggie” and starts treating a total stranger like a sibling that she has lived with all her life.

Before I wrap it all up on the subject of Jenna, I should mention that she is a virgin, which in this situation is expected. To me, however, that was the cherry on top of the cake. Of course, Jenna’s first time was totes amazeballs which is absolutely believable…NOT. God, I hate virgins.

Anyways, moving on.

Adam, you could have been such a great guy. You probably are. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to really meet you. There are only two chapters from his POV and that deprived us from getting to know him as a character. We know nothing of him as a person. There aren’t any glimpses of his past and his family is kind of a mystery, except for his overly friendly sister Amy. The only things we know about him are that he is a bounty hunter (mentioned only once) and that he is an Alpha of a pack. Here we stumble upon the next big plot hole – the pack doesn’t play any role in the story. We meet only two of its members and the rest is just background. Our main characters are wolf shifters, therefore, the pack should be a big part of their life, even bigger due to the fact that Jenna never had one. Last but not least, I feel like I should note Adam’s lack of presence during a big part of the book – because of his absence his role turns from major into minor. And with that, my discussion of him ends.

This is leading me to the final nail in the coffin – the awful writing style. For half of the book we are meeting new guys and, of course, all of them are big gorgeous domineering alpha males. Note to authors: not all men should be alphas or devastatingly handsome, readers could get sick of all those manly men. The process of introducing new characters was always following these four steps:

1. We need information

2. “I know someone who knows someone who knows something. Let’s  go meet him!”
3. Enters next gorgeous guy.

4. He doesn’t have any info but he knows someone who possibly knows something.

That repeats at least four times in the span of 60 pages.It was irritating and made me think about quitting this book half way through it. The only thing that kept me going was my stubbornness. But that’s not all – every time the characters went somewhere, it was followed by unending explanations about the club or house in question. These useless details, which served to only fill out the pages, were sometimes mixed with Jenna’s confused mushy feelings, which only contributed to my already growing irritation. The author demonstrated an amazing talent of making a fast-paced story seem like an endless account of meetings. I was utterly bored and annoyed by the fact that the new guys just kept piling up. The readers become so preoccupied with all the explanations or trotting to the next new guy that they can’t get to know any of the characters or come to care for them. As a matter of fact, all of the new guys were more memorable than our main hero Adam, who was absent during all these meetings (as I mentioned above).

After all the introductions (including a bizarre and unnecessary appearance of Jenna’s mother) are made, we are put on a plane for Germany. This is the point where the story absolutely lost its momentum and I went from “No” to “Hell no!”. Why the author felt the need to put us on a wild goose chase half the world away when she had all the ingredients to make maybe not a great, but a good enough story, I have no idea. I confess that, after only five days, this part of the book is already a little foggy to me, which should tell you enough about how memorable the last 50 pages were. The author tried to write a fast and dramatic ending but I personally had already given up and just prayed that the book would die a quick death.

Lastly, I should mention that, somewhere buried beneath all the debilitating descriptions and details, there was a bit of good humour (the moment with the coffee) and world building that had some good points like the explanation of vampires and demons. Of course, the author couldn’t help herself and had to ruin it for me with the story of shifter evolution (WTF?!). At this point it shouldn’t come as a surprise that there were also some major gaps in the world she built that crippled the story but who cares anymore… I certainly don’t.

~El

Taking Shots (Assassins #1) by Toni Aleo

Following my newly found passion for ice hockey (Go Blackhawks!), I decided to search for a book with a hockey player as the main character. I was quite pleased to find a list with books just like that and I eagerly downloaded the top one recommended book. I expected passion. I expected hotness. I expected complicated feelings, a man who is strong and determined. A woman who is interesting and bold enough to ensnare that powerful specimen. What I got was a whiny stuck-up and a besotted fool who enter a relationship that will leave the readers unsatisfied and wishing they had just gone to sleep.

Before I start picking the book apart I want to emphasise on the fact that I did not read the entire book. I simply couldn’t handle any more of Elli’s virginal behavior and Shea’s endless patience with her stupidity.

First, let’s talk about the story. Elli is a photographer, who has finally gotten her dream job and is shooting the whole Assassins team. That’s how she meets Shea, an amazing athlete who is getting tired of his life as a skirt-chaser. Shea is quite taken with Elli (God knows why, the woman is a complete disaster) and starts pursuing her. They go on a few dates, he falls in love with her straight away and after that the book is pretty much dedicated to Shea trying to score one and Elli being too afraid to even get to second base.

Now, let’s talk about Shea first. I don’t know if it’s because I have this image of what an ice hockey player should be like, but I found him utterly lacking. I like my hockey players hot, strong, powerful on and off the ice, a man’s man, maybe a bit of a player. While Shea is hot and a powerful player, he is as far from my idea of a man as one can be. It bothered me to no end that he kept thinking about his sister and saying things like “She is my best friend. I love her so much. I can’t live without her. Oh, my sister this, my sister that.” There is nothing wrong with loving your sibling but moving around the country just because they are so you can stay together? Talking every day on the phone to tell each other how much you love the other? Now, that is a bit over the top for me. Having a strong family connection is a good thing but being co-dependent isn’t.

Then, of course, our heroine comes in the picture and Shea is instantly in love with her. They go on a few dates and he is so smitten that he decides to respect the limits Elli puts on their relationship. Meaning anything below the neck is not to be touched. Or else. I would completely understand behaviour of that sort if the heroine was a teenager. Or a virgin. She is neither. She is a fully-grown woman who has been engaged and who has previously enjoyed sex. So, why, you might wonder, is she refusing the hot piece of meat that is Shea? Because she got fat.

But, wait, that isn’t even the best part. You see, she isn’t actually fat. It’s all in her head because she is so awfully insecure about her body that she sees a hippo when she looks in the mirror. I don’t know any woman who isn’t insecure about her body. Hell, I myself could be the Queen of Issues but that doesn’t mean that I act as a scared little missy every time a man tries to touch me or to tell me I’m attractive. Elli’s insecurities are like a third person throughout the entire book. They are, in fact, the main focus of the story. It’s all she thinks about and all she talks about. What annoyed me even further is that she is bothering everyone around her with her silly worries. Her friends, her colleagues and her boyfriend all become victims to those tedious conversations where they have to convince her that no, she is not fat at all and no, her stretch marks aren’t that visible.

And who, in their right mind, would date the hottest hockey player out there and refuse sex for months? Maybe if she had a different reason, say if she had survived some traumatic experience and was dealing with issues or even if they were taking it slow (although waiting for months to have sex when you are in a loving committed relationship in the 21^st century still is an outlandish idea to me but that might just be me being slutty). It’s not even that she doesn’t want to sleep with him, on the contrary she wishes she could hump his brains out. But she doesn’t only because she’s skittish and afraid that he will be so outraged by her marks that he will dump her ass before he even puts the condom on. From my point of view, if a man is kind to you, if he not only tells you you’re beautiful but acts like you are, if it’s obvious he’s in love with you and you’re his world, if he gives you the feelings down low, then why would you torture both yourself and him by keeping sex off the table? I swear, every time I was reading a steamy scene and she stopped him when his hand inched under her shirt, I wanted to reach inside the book and smash her insecure head against the wall.

When they finally have sex, she refuses to let him see her naked in the light. So they can only indulge in intimacy with the lights out. Romantic, I know.

Moreover, she hid her past from him and he had to find out all that has happened by her family. She never mentioned her old career, her ex-fiancee or her sickness. And then she left Shea to her mean-ass family who reveled in telling him just how much of a failure Elli is. So when he, understandably, got angry and yelled at her she just took it quietly, cried her eyes out and decided that their relationship is over.

That is the point where I had had enough. I couldn’t take anymore of her whining, crying, worrying or her insecurities. I couldn’t handle reading another page where this strong man had to deny and belittle himself only to reassure her for the hundredth time that she is pretty.

So that’s it folks! Yet another piece of work that should be stamped DO NOT READ. Hopefully, I’ll have better luck with the next book.

Yours truly, Krissy

Mystery Man aka Creepy Stalker Gets The Girl

Dream Man #1 by Kristen Ashley

How this book scored above four on http://www.goodreads.com is beyond me. Maybe we didn’t read the same book because there is no way in hell the stuff I read is even a two.
I saw Motorcycle man in the nominees for 2012 so I decided I’d give the series a chance. Boy, do I wish I had just skipped the damned page. Talk about waste of space and time!
First of all, the story starts straight away without any descriptions, without any explanations. In fact, I had no idea what the main character Gwen looked like until the epilogue. The whole book is more speech and dialogues than anything else. Except, of course, when there is a hot guy that just must be described!

Now that I mentioned hot guys, this is another problem I had with this book. It starts out with her realising she’s a slut (which she is as her actions later confirm in the book) because she sleeps with a man she doesn’t know who sneaks into her house whenever he wishes. Okay, let’s talk about that for a second. How many of us women are there who would not be disturbed by the fact that some mysterious guy has access to your home, to you and you have no idea how he does it? If it were me, I would be worried that if he could do it then anyone could do it. New locks and a security system would be my next logical step. If he’s so horny he can always ring the damned bell like a normal person. And let’s not forget that on top of everything else they were having unprotected sex. Nevermind STDs and unwanted pregnancy – all is well as long as Gwennie is getting some from the creeper.

After some sh*t happened with her dear sis (a complete piece of trash who still is more likeable at the end than our dear Gwen) she decided to go lay her problems at a biker gang’s feet. Best decision ever. And (what a surprise!) Hot Guy #2 comes in the picture. Tack is a badass all around, hot, dangerous yadda yadda but the moment he lays eyes on Gwennie he falls for her. So this big bear of a man talked to our main character ONCE and he gave her his protection (a big deal in biker gangs’ world) and agreed to basically risk his life and the lives of the gang members for her. Cuz she’s cute and talks about Barbies. Uh-uh. And he terrifies her but she still thinks he’s super-duper hot and gets the shivers when he touches her. Oh the romance. Then her house gets broken into and behold! Hot Guy #3 makes an entrance. Every normal woman would be shocked that a man tried to get in her bedroom but what does Gwennie do? She flirts! And just like that Mitch Lawson becomes her next victim (with only 4 lines exchanged between them). That all happens for one day, and what a busy day it was for Gwennie ensnaring hearts left and right. Why, you might ask, is every man in the book falling for her charms? Because she has tits and ass and she is a smartass. Uh-uh.

By the way, there is a difference between being a smartass and being stupid. As a proud smartass myself, I should know the difference.

From then on it’s the story of a woman who can’t make up her mind about who she likes better. She is with Hot Guy #1 but she flirts with everyone else, she kisses Hot Guy #2 and sleeps with him spooning, she even lives with him shortly. She also allows Hot Guy #3 to touch her and get in a kissing distance the night she was supposed to go out on her first date with her beloved. And, let’s not forget the best friend who has been in love with her for years.

But anyway, moving on. Before I forget I just have to mention the horrible horrible taste of the author in names. Cabe aka Hot Guy #1 to me personally sounds like a cape, like Superman’s cape. Or cabbage. Tack? Sounds good but still weird. Gwendolyn I have personally never liked – to me it’s not the name of a strong woman but of a whiny pretty one. And then there’s Ginger Kidd. Seriously? Ginger Kid??? Let alone Jury, Bruno, Asher, Gus, Hawk etc.

So, after everyone risks their lives for her because they all want to get in her panties, after she starts a war between the gang and Cabe’s base for the same reason, she finally decides she wants Cabe. After a fair amount of drama, of course. What seriously annoyed me about their relationship is how much he was spoiling her. I get that the man wants to make gestures and sh*t but buying her shoes for 12 000 dollars? Bit over the top hmm?

And what is up with calling everyone, and I mean everyone, baby? Am I the only one who still thinks endorsements like that should be used only in a relationship, not when you talk to your best friend’s fiancée?

Then, they finally get together-together, everything is swell but the book still keeps going. By that point I was getting sick and tired of reading about their life as a lovey-dovey couple who are just so damn adorable together. So what was the point of those 20-30 pages? Well, there had to be a big bang for the finish. Whoaaa Cabe got kidnapped and Gwennie had to save him. Which is about the point where she becomes a total disappointment after briefly deciding to trade her sister for him. I mean, why act logically and do the obvious and call his base? Instead, she cries, she drags everyone into her sh*t without thinking about the consequences for them and she wants to take her sister, her own blood, and give her over.
Finally, everything falls into place and they lived happily ever after. *Sigh*
Oh, let’s not forget Cabe and his annoying habit of ordering her around. Everything that came out of that man’s mouth was an order. Everything. And every single time I read his line and she complied it made my teeth itch. Gwennie didn’t really make a decision regarding their relationship (or anything else) throughout the whole book – when she tried to he simply ignored her.
All in all, my opinion of the book can be summarised by this:

Reviewed by Krissy

The Big Fat Disappointment

The Strip (The Big Bad Wolf #2) by Heather Killough-Walden

I have never in my life been more disappointed with a book. I am actually amazed that Walden managed to take two perfectly good characters and mess everything up so much. It must be a gift. The first book in the series I barely got through and I did it only because I liked Malcolm’s character so much. I couldn’t wait to read his book. It turns out I shouldn’t have bothered. The book that was supposed to be about him was more about Phelan (the bad guy from book #1) than anyone else. About more than half of the book is focusing on Charlie’s abduction and the things that sick bastard does to her. Excuse me, but I am not into rapist wanna-bes. The fact that she enjoyed some of the stuff because of the mark and the horniness didn’t sit too well with me either. Actually, she seemed to genuinely enjoy that kind of rough foreplay since that’s what Jessie (her ex-lover) was doing – chasing her and throwing her around, being crude and domineering. Definitely not my scene. Another thing that bothers me is that all of the three books I’ve read so far have the same structure. We have the insanely hot dangerous main hero and we have the unusually beautiful damsel who is, of course, unaware of her charms or is too humble to acknowledge them. We also have the obsessed powerful son of a bitch who is completely bonkers and who will not stop at anything to get the damsel in question. We have abduction, torture and almost-rape. In every book the abduction happens just after the Dormant’s been marked so she’s super horny and messed up. However, in this book the abduction just kept going on and on and on and on and on and…on. I was getting sick of reading about Charlie being naked in front of a bunch of d*ckheads and how she hated it but she was still wet. Right…And then she got whipped and tortured some more. Then finally, blessedly, after some serious stuff fit for an action movie, Malcolm got her back and claimed her. Well, have I ever been more disappointed in a sexual act… To put it mildly, it was sh*t. After we’ve been forced to wait until the end of the book for some action we want that action to be just right. Instead we get more domineering asshole and more submissive damsel who doesn’t do anything. And then, they’re in love. Uh-uh. Allow me to remain sceptical. Even the epilogue wasn’t about them but about the next couple. Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s just that I like seeing how a character evolves, how their feelings grow and how they finally fall for each other. I definitely don’t believe in the slam-bam-i-love-you-ma’m thing that Walden seems to have going on. I mean, the characters don’t even really talk to each other, they don’t really know one another and there were so many things that should have been said between them. Malcolm’s curse was one of them. It’s a big part of who he is and he didn’t mention it. I just think it could have been a big moment for them but instead Lily had to get involved and open her big mouth. The hero and heroine never say “I love you” to each other. Not that I’m a fan of sappy confessions but without it the story is just…lacking. Maybe it’s because of these reasons that to me the books seem to be left unfinished. P.S. Walden needs to let Phelan die for f*ck’s sake! I hate the on-going drama with him, just think of a new d*mned character. Jeez… Reviewed by Krissy

Big & Bad

The Heat (The Big Bad Wolf #1)
by Heather Killough-Walden

First of all, I want to say that I really, really  wanted to write a nice review but I just can’t help myself with this sorry- excuse=of-a-book. It’s like I have been hurled into some alternative universe in which every book I start is bad and shitty.

The latest book I read is The Heat from The Big Bad Wolf series which I started only because I wanted to read its spin off series (The Kings). I actually have no idea where to start from, there are so many things that I didn’t like about this book that I am … dumbfounded and that’s why I will begin my list with the things that irritated me to the n^th degree.

1. “During the course of her job, she’d been trained to teach women that a man’s invading penis was not something to fight against to the point of coming to real harm. It was not worth dying for. It was taught that the important thing was to live through a rape- and deal with the rest later.”
What the Fuck!!! Really, Walden?! I personally had to read this paragraph at least twice because I couldn’t believe that the author really suggested that during a rape the victim should just lay there and not fight! I have a question for her – if she was the victim would she stop fighting and let some scum destroy her? I really don’t think so. The fact that Walden engages such a serious object in that sort of way is just beyond me! If it was just some prick who was trying to steal the heroine’s purse or something like that I would understand that kind of logic but to react like this to rape … No comment.

2. Tabitha, my sweet good Tabitha, if you were my best friend, firstly I will actually feel sorry for myself and secondly I will kill you – painfully. How can a so-called “best friend” be so egoistical, so self-absorbed and stupid?! She actually preferred to risk, never mind her friend’s but also her brother’s future (who is her only family) because she was afraid she would lose Lily’s friendship. Why wasn’t Lily pissed off at her I really don’t know! She should have kicked Tabitha’s ass to hell and back and it still wouldn’t have been enough. Who in their right mind would send their closest friend away knowing she is in danger, that she could be marked by the wrong person and be miserable for the rest of her very, very long life?!? On top of that, little Tabitha actually hid Lily from no other but her own brother – talk about jealousy!  And oh wait, I forgot the itsy bitsy detail that Lily was Daniel’s only chance of happiness and without her he would actually go insane – now that’s some sisterly love there! Oh, this only reminds me that she also shot the same brother. Why? ‘Cuz, little sweet Tabitha was pissed at him. See the irony!! I can continue rambling on and on about the sheer stupidity of this character but I think I made my point.

3. Now to get to the main characters – Lily and Daniel. For me it felt like it could have been a little more developed but actually they weren’t that bad. In my experience the first book from a series is almost always, let’s just say, not good. That’s why I am not judging them too harshly. There were some nice moments, like the one with the bike, which I really enjoyed. However there was something that kept irritating me about their relationship. I can’t say exactly what it was. Maybe it was that there weren’t enough moments where the two of them actually were together or the fact there wasn’t enough dialogue between the two. The thing is, they saw each other and BOOM! They were madly in love. I get the fact that they had it bad for each other in high school. But the reality is they haven’t met in 10 years – people change a lot. They don’t know each other but nevertheless they fall in love without even talking. Excuse me, but I find that highly implausible. Now, I know some will say they were meant to be or some bullshit among those lines. I have read a lot of books containing that motive and, even though the main characters were “written in the stars” or “it’s their destiny”. the part of getting to know one another, building a relationship, starting to care and then falling in love still existed. In this book I find that lacking which for me means that Walden didn’t do her job.

4. The writing was, to be mildly put – unpolished. The fact that I found myself skidding through the lines must be enough to prove how bad it was at times. Half through the book (the moment where Malcolm disappeared) I lost absolute interest and actually stopped reading it for 2 days (for me that is a very long period). The author just didn’t give a flying shit about the main characters. I finished this book only because firstly, I hate leaving books when I am half-way through  and then secondly – I wanted to be able to write an objective review.

5. When you sum up all the things above you can imagine that at some point I was way pass the limit of my tolerance. After that every little detail started to annoy me. For example, why everyone liked Lily – it was like they haven’t seen a female in years; why didn’t Daniel say something, anything to Lily instead of just chaining her to his bed like a total Neanderthal. He was in a kind of hurry, well how fucking long does it take to say “You are in danger because you are my wolf mate. I will explain later. Some bad men are coming to get you and that’s why I will mark you.”  But oh nooo, that would take too long, like 60 seconds. Also the absolutely shitty fact that the main villain got off waaay too easily. In my opinion, he should have been painfully dismembered but I guess I have a lot less control than an angry pack of werewolves. Ha! Who would have thought that x.X. If everything else was good about this book I probably wouldn’t have even noticed these things but now they just contribute to my growing irritation.

6. The only good thing – Malcolm!! This was the only character that I did care for. He was interesting, powerful, cursed and fucked up – just the way I love them. His story was actually well-made and left you wondering what will happen to him. The thing is that he doesn’t stay till the end of the book and with his disappearance went all of my interest down the drain. Just because of him I was ready to read the second book (his book) but after what my fellow blogger Krissy told me about it – I highly doubt it. But you will have the pleasure of reading her review of the second book.

In the end all I will say is – DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! It will be a total waste of your time. That’s the reason why it’s a proud member of the Why? WHY?! category.

~ El

Fifty Shades Darker (and shittier)

           

 

          AKA

 

 

I’m not quite sure how to go about this review since it’s my first, so bear with me. There are a few things I liked about the series – firstly, the style of writing makes it somehow more personal and engaging (even if it’s not very good). I also like the story and how James reveals little bits and pieces of Christian’s charachter and his past. I like the fact that she wrote 2 books, taking her time and letting her characters get to know each other. Everything is evolving in a normal pace, not the usual hasty kiss-bang-oh,i love you-you cured me-marry me storyline we witness in most books that sometimes leaves you thinking “What did just happen?” And I liked Christian. Bless him, he’s so fucked up, it warms my heart. Fifty shades indeed.

Now, moving on to the things that irritated me in the book. And they are plenty. So many, in fact, that they outbalanced the good and made me give up on the series. Let’s take a moment and talk about how ridiculously slow and dense Ana can be. I mean c’mon! some things are so obvious yet it takes her 200 pages to make the connection.

If you don’t agree with me, here are a few examples:

1. The fact that she was oblivious to Christian’s kinky fuckery tendencies for so long. He gave so many hints, surely it wasn’t just my dirty-minded self that got it? I understand she’s a virgin and innocent and bla bla but we do live in the 21st century and I sincerely doubt there are many people left so naive. Especially when he told her he can’t f*ck her before she signed the “paperwork”. DUH! Who would ask you to sign paperwork for having sex if he didn’t want you to keep quiet for something? Ok, maybe she wouldn’t have jumped to the dom/sub conclusion but there are so many other options…she didn’t even speculate. Tut tut.

2. Another thing that got on my nerves was the whole food issue. She knew he had a problem with wasted food and she knew that he was adopted. Yet it took 100 pages for Christian to say in his speech on her graduation that food was important to him because of that. And she was so shocked she tuned out for the rest of the speech. Seriously? She could have at least guessed it was related to that period of his life.

3. His scars. The first time she sees them she thinks they’re from chicken-pox. But then on the family dinner Grace says Christian had a really light case of the disease. Now, a normal person would make the connection instantly but it takes her another 50 pages to remember that conversation and to come to the revelation that they’re cigarette burns. Although I’m willing to give her some credit here – she at least thought of it herself. And she did have a lot on her mind at the time to realise it right away.

4. SPOILER ALERT!
Mrs. Robinson. Damn but I hate her. Anyway, remember that part where she was being blackmailed for 5000 dollars? And they thought it was a funny sum because she’s rich? And they mentioned Isaac, her sub? And then, the NEXT day he gets a call and he says that he understands it was a joke and it was a really ridiculous sum and that Isaac is in trouble.  What does our silly heroine do? She asks him who was on the phone. SERIOUSLY? And he is like “Do you really wanna know?” WTF? Hmmmm let’s think. Who could it be? And Ana actually thinks “And I knew.” Honey, did you actually need his question to get it was Elena?

5. SPOILER ALERT!
Their new house. He proposed, she almost agreed, they’re living together and he took her to see a gorgeous house that just happened to be on the market. And she asks if he just wanted to show her the view. Grrrr by this point I wanted nothing more than to just slap some sense into her. He obviously meant it to be your new house where you’d live together, you stupid! And again, she was surprised when he said it. Fine, maybe she didn’t believe he’d do it but surely the thought would have crossed her mind? At least as an option? Why else would he take her there? Sightseeing? I don’t think so.

6. Her new job. If you get the job of your dreams you do NOT spend all of your time e-mailing your dreamy boyfriend, you work your a*s off and do your damn best. It bugged me how much she resembles Bella. They both have nothing else going on in their lives but their “perfect” sweethearts. And if they do, they ignore the sh*t out of it. Women are not defined by the men they’re with. It just sends the wrong message. We are our own person and we are entitled to our privacy.

That leads me to the problem that is Christian’s possessiveness. It’s just too much. At one point it was more like an obsession than love. Like how he bought the firm she was working for so he became her boss. If it were me, there’d be hell on earth for him. Interfering in my work?

Anyway, I don’t really understand what all the fuss is about. The book is more silly and annoying than anything else. I guess Twilight and Gabriel’s Inferno fans (the two books that made me want to shoot myself only so I’d forget about their sheer stupidity) will like this series too. For the rest of us, I can recommend the book only in case you need paper to start a fire.

Reviewed by Krissy